Wooden Post Biography

Wooden Post clearing brush at his Evergreen estate. “Public service has always been an integral part of my life.

”Nestled in the talons of a bald eagle nesting near Mt. Rainer, the acorn that blossomed into the tree that would eventually produce November 2006’s most talked about candidate fell into the soil of a lush meadow, giving rise to a grove of legendary oaks with a long, proud tradition of public service. In 1918, planks cut from Wooden Post’s great uncle served in the trenches in World War I battlefields. Posts cut from a great aunt and a cousin laid the foundation that would become the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge. Most notably his grandfather ,Wooden Flagpole, distinguished himself as a member of the marine corps during the battle of Iwo Jima. Other members of his family would serve on the estates of notable American politicians and other captains of industry, from Lyndon Johnson to David Packard, usually as perimeter fencing or the occasional piece of outdoor patio furniture.

Wooden Post’s grandfather, Wooden Flagpole, at the Battle of Iwo Jima.

Wooden Post has vowed to carry on his reputable family’s public service legacy. During his years at a sentry post as a member of a UN peace-keeping force south of Beruit in the early 1980’s, he met and grafted with his wife, a Lebanese cedar. Upon returning to the states, he was decommissioned and recycled for resale where he wound up in the lumber section of the Home Depot on Blossom Hill Road. His friend and campaign manager Ignatius J. Reilly, a former Home Depot employee, discovered Wooden Post, moved him to Evergreen, and convinced him to run as a write-in candidate against Craig Mann in the Santa Clara County Board of Education district 6 race. A respected family man, he and his wife are the proud parents of three 2x4’s, six grand-2x4’s, and uncle and aunt to numerous shingles, planks, kitchen cabinets, and 6 paneled doors.